Ringtones
by snobunniex3
Summary: Lindsey keeps changing Eliot's ringtones and Eliot can't figure out how he does it. Just some drabbles I had on my computer. Same 'verse as the dramatic brother and the good brother but can be read as stand d swearing and violence, nothing that isn't on either show. please read and review!
1. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

An: just a few drabbles I had about Eliot and Linsey. Lindsey keeps changing Eliot's ringtone, much to his older brother's annoyance.  
I've had these sitting on my computer for a while with my other stories. I have a couple more and I'll post them soon. Same 'verse as the dramatic brother and the good brother but can be read as a stand alone.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the songs. Also, i chose Sara Beth's name from random but i think it might be in a song, not one i've used or am in any way referencing

(She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy)

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Eliot didn't get a cell phone until after his time in the army. Before the army, he didn't need it. Pretty much anyone he wanted or needed to talk to was within shouting distance. During the army he couldn't have one, especially once he got into the more clandestine missions. Once he was out though, his brother and sister demanded he get one. He might have been able to argue against one of them but together he didn't stand a chance. Actually, he probably didn't stand a chance anyway, not with Lawyer boy and Sara Beth – Puppy Eyes – McDonald. So he got a cell phone. That had 2 numbers in it. For months they were the only two numbers in the phone.

Since Lindsey had bought the phone for him, he also set it up. It used military time and had texting disabled. It didn't do any of that annoying crap and he was fine with all that. Then he realized that Linny had made the ringtone a song. He hadn't noticed it before because he kept it on vibrate all the time but somehow, he must have pressed a button, the ringer got turned on. Full volume.

He realized this in the middle of a job, when he was getting ready to take down 6 armed guards. He realized it when the phone went off. At full volume. He didn't care that he'd been able to use their distraction against them and won the fight quicker than he probably would have. Every time he saw his partner for that job, the man would whistle the tune under his breath. The man didn't even like country. He finally punched the guy when he asked Eliot if he could borrow his tractor, he wanted to take his girl out.

Lindsey refused to change it and Eliot couldn't figure it out so, after 3 months and 2 more people finding out his ringtone, Eliot bought a new phone. He transferred the contacts (which he was very proud of, thank you very much) and threw the other phone against a wall then threw the pieces in the river.

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Please review! I had fun writing this, let me know if you enjoyed reading it :)


	2. Fever

An: Lindsey sets another song for Eliot. Lindsey's ringtones are more a reflection on Eliot and way to tease him than a reflection on Lindsey, though i should add that. I used to set ringtones on my android for the people who called me most and I picked them out specifically for them so this is like Lindsey doing that for Eliot.

Disclaimer: dont own anything. this song is Fever by Garth Brooks, the last song was She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney.

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(Fever)

Two months later he had a new ringtone. This time, his phone only sang for Sara Beth and Lindsey. They had different songs now too, so Eliot always knew which of them was calling.

He had spent a very pleasant evening with a flight attendant and figured she must have been the one to turn the ringer on when she put her number in his phone.

Lindsey always did have horrible timing. This was no exception. Eliot is standing with a gun pointed at his head, a pissed off Chilean on the other end of said gun, holding his breath and praying for something, anything, to stop the man from shooting him in the head.

And then his phone rings.

_He's got a fever, fever, fever, fever  
Fever makes you crazy 'cause it makes no sense  
Like runnin' from your shadow out of self-defense  
He won't run and baby he can't hide  
He thinks the odds are even leavin' one hand tied  
He gets so tired of hangin' on so tight  
I know you think he's crazy well I think you're right  
We're all here 'cause he's not all there that's right_

The man stares at him and Eliot closes his eyes, reconsiders his prayers for a moment, then disarms the man in front of him and points the gun at him, daring him to say a word.

"What." He bites out, eyes never leaving his adversary as he answers the damn phone.

"I got a job. At this big time law firm in L.A.! This is it Elly, 3 more months of college and then I've got a real job, that pays real nice!" Lindsey was thrilled and didn't notice if Eliot's response came back a second late or that it was vague.

"That's great news man. You've earned it. I'm in the middle of something right now though, I'll see you soon though and we can celebrate."

He hung up the phone and put in his pocket.

"You've got 30 seconds to convince me not to pull the trigger."

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Please Review!


	3. Save a horse, Ride a Cowboy

An: Lindsey was just trying to help his brother out. really.

Disclaimer: i own nothing and the song is by Big and Rich

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(Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy)

"Lindsey, how the hell are you changing my ringtones from half way around the world when I can't do it with the phone in my damn hand?" Eliot asked, finally breaking his promise not to give his brother the satisfaction of asking. He didn't get it. He hadn't even seen Lindsey since he'd gotten this phone.

Lindsey just laughed. He wasn't telling his brother for a number of reasons but mostly because he was having too much fun knowing how frustrated Eliot was.

"If you can't figure out how to change them, how are you gonna understand when I explain how I'm doing it?"

"Do you even know how I figured out that you changed it this time?" Eliot groaned and Lindsey laughed some more.

"Please tell it worked though. It's been a while since you've had some if your mood is anything to go by." More laughter.

"So you change my ringtone to _that_!?" Eliot cried out, trying to hide his own laughter.

"Answering a question with a question, tsk tsk, I thought I taught you better avoidance tactics than that. Did it work?"

"..No….quit laughing man."

"I can't believe it! Where were you when I called?"

"A bar, probably the only place in this country where a woman would recognize the song."

"So, what, you saw her recognize the song and talked her up?"

"No. I was sitting with the guy I just finished a job with when you called. She's sittin' on my other side and heard it but didn't say anything until my partner started laughing. Then she leans over, steals my beer, and says 'so, cowboy, you up for a ride tonight?'. I was too shocked to do any kinda talkin'."

"Ha, admit it, I'm the best brother in the world."

"yeah, yeah, now get rid of the damn ringtones."

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Please Review! I asked nice and everything!


	4. Cowgirls don't cry

An: Sara Beth gets a song! also, if someone has a good song, leave it in a review and i might make a chapter of it :)

Disclaimer: i own nothing and the song is by brooks and dunn

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(Cowgirls Don't Cry)  
The next time Eliot's phone went off, he was seriously starting to question his brother. He hadn't seen Linny in almost a year, an occupational hazard of working for Damien Moreau, and he had somehow set the ringtones on his newest phone. That he'd gotten two weeks ago.

He and his so-called partner had just finished a particularly pain in the ass mission and were driving back to the hotel they were going to be holed up in for the rest of the weekend to avoid anyone looking for them. Eliot wasn't in any kind of mood to talk and if his partner didn't figure that out soon he was going to end up walking back to the hotel.

The other man finally turned on the radio and shut up. '_About time.'_ Eliot thought, before realizing it wasn't the radio singing. He glowered at the other man while he dug out his phone.

"I can't wait to hear the your reasoning behind this ringtone." He bit out and turned his glare to the scenery passing his window.

"Wh- What ringtone? Oh Elly, I-I just need to talk and Lindsey is too busy and I can't talk to – well I just, I just wanted to talk but if now is a bad-" well now he felt like an ass. He had forgotten that Lindsey had set Sara Beth's ringtone too.

"Hey, Hey, calm down baby girl, tell me what's wrong." He kept his voice calm and low, knowing that his driver was listening but not caring.

"Its Matt. He's…" Eliot recognized that pause, it was the same pause she had when she told him about her first break up, the same pause Lindsey used when he told him how he'd gotten a black eye in 10th grade. It was the pause they used when they wanted to tell him something but were afraid he'd do something stupid, reckless, or violent. Or, god forbid, all three.

"You can tell me, I won't do anything stupid." He promised, deciding that if had to hurt someone, he'd plan it out well enough not even Linny could argue that it was stupid.

"…He's leaving. I think there's someone else. He said he's going to take Mikey. Eliot, I know we had our problems and I know that him leaving is probably best since all we do is fight and that isn't good for Mikey, but he can't take my son. He can't." she was crying pretty hard now and Eliot could see her sitting on her couch, curled up with the phone, hurting. And he was half a world away.

"Listen, that ain't gonna happen darlin' you know it won't. Where are they at now?"

"Mikey's staying with a friend for the weekend and Matt went out a few hours ago. Why? Eliot, you promised." She was starting to panic.

"I did, so quit worryin'. Listen, I'm gonna call the too-busy-idiot and he'll take care the asshole. You know nobody can win an argument against him. You'll be fine. Now, I want you to call Aimee and tell her you need a girls' night in, let her help."

"I haven't talked to Aimee in a long time. Maybe I'll call someone else." He could hear the hesitation in her voice and knew she wouldn't call anyone.

"You can call her or I will, and I really don't want to call her." His threat worked.

"Ok, call me later though?"

"Sure. I'll call tomorrow. 'Night baby girl." He closed his phone and took a deep breath.

"What's wrong, cowgirl. Not gonna cry are ya?"

'_If I kill him, Damien will be pissed. Well maybe annoyed. Still, don't kill him. Do not kill him.'_

_"_One more word, just one Chapman, and you're gonna spend the weekend in the trunk."

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Please review! and let me know if you have a request for a song :)


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